Clarifying the rumors

Recently I've been hearing some unfortunate words spread around the grapevine. Some people have been questioning if I really should be pursuing my dream of becoming a ninja. Below I will address some of these issues:

Issue #1: You can't pursue your ninja dream in this current economy

You are wrong. Clearly whoever has been spreading this has little knowledge on ninjas. Ninjas are extremely economical with their cash flow. Ninjas are not cheap but they are frugal. They run on a monthly budget and are extremely organized with their finances. Why is a ninja so organized with his money? It is simple. It is because a ninja does not have the time to stress or worry about money. If his energy is taken up by concerns of paying his bills he cannot focus on his Ki (pronounced "chee"). Therefore in the process of becoming a ninja my life will only become more financially viable.

Issue #2: "I heard that ninja's don't have sex. Is this true?"

This is a complete and total lie made out of thin air. Ninja's can have sex. Now, of course ninjas are super bad ass so consequentially there are many whom desire to be a ninja's partner. This can be dangerous for a ninja because the second he starts pulling a "Lil Wayne" (making lots of babies) he is no longer living the life of a ninja.

Issue #3: What is your favorite type of food? how often do you eat it?

I like all mexican food. I probably eat it 3 to 5 times a week.

Issue #4: "I heard that ninja's don't have sex. Is this true?"

Why would you bring up the same issue twice... That is stupid and a waste of my time. See "Issue #2".

Issue #5: "I heard you lost a step. Is this true?"

This is only true if by "lost a step" you meant to say "has gotten even more awesome then ever before". If you do in fact mean "lost a step" when you stated "lost a step" then this is incorrect and a flat out bold faced lie!